[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 3 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/2587.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> someday i suppose... [06 Dec 2005|09:33am] [ mood | lonely ] ok..so lately i have been really bummed. I hate being alone. I've been by myself, single for so long now it's getting old.. Theres someone that I like a lot, theres just something about him that I really am attracted to, but god knows that will never happen. I hate this..i feel alone, I feel empty..I just wanna love someone..

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 7 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/2420.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> I knew everything would be ok... [14 Nov 2005|11:53am] [ mood | giggly ] Yeah so this weekend was a BLAST!! lol let's see on Friday I went and hung out with the usual "crew" and of course we had tons of fun! Then Saturday was a day I wouldnt ever think would come! Me and Kris actually talked and were working on being friends again. It's weird because everytime we fix things it seems like we never stopped being friends ever. We always just pick up where we left off at. Man, our redlationship is so weird and so messed up..lol but there is still nothing in this world i wouldnt do for him, and i realized that when he left me this time I became stronger and I know I can make it on my own. So in a weird way he did me a favor. I mean i'm kinnda scared that if our friendship takes another turn for the worst that all over again my heart will break, but thats just the risk I have to take if I want him to be my best friend again...There is so many things that bug the shit outta me about him, things that when we werent friends i just hated, and said that i would never deal with again, but then this time around I am serious there are some things that I wont deal with and I know he could say the same about me, but I am willing to fix those things to make this relationship work. He means the world to me, and no matter what happends between us I gotta know that we'll be friends again and that we can fix everything. We've been through hell and back for almost 3 years now and i'm not willing to give up and I now know that neither is he. On saturday we had an awesome talk..we apologized about things that we did and said (mainly me for going crazy lol) and we told eachother how much our friendship meant to one another and it made me feel good hearing it from him, that no matter what he'd be there for me and vice versa. Gosh, it just feels like a weight came off of my shoulders..I'm feelin good and life is going good! :) On another plus side Chaz moves into her plave on Wed. I'm so excited to get her all moved in, and settled in so she has a place of her own now..I'm so happy for her..I mean i'm gonna miss sleepin with her and seein her face every morning (LOL) but I think i'll be able to manage..its now like I wont be at her house like..EVERY DAY!!! lol I love that girl and its bout time she got something great for herself..she deserves it more than anyone I know!!!

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 1 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/2178.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> Again...lol [28 Oct 2005|09:03am] [ mood | excited ] Yes everyone, I AM updating again! lol Well right now i'm just sitting in my CTC class being REALLY bored! Anyways... Well I am SO GLAD IT'S FRIDAY!!! Me, Leeza, and Chaz are going to Adrian tonight and we got a hotel room!!! lol I am SO freakin excited I know were gonna have fun!! All these road trips...there awesome! Ne ways...thats about all I have to say right now..so talk to ya'll later

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 6 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/2032.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> Good days ahead... [24 Oct 2005|11:36am] [ mood | excited ] Hey EVERYONE!! Those who still read mine..lol I am finally gonna update this biotch! So...Life is really good lately. School is going AWESOME..good grades and good attendance..I am SO EXCITED! It's about time I got my stuff together. So yeah.. Um..the drama at school I really am not caring about lately. I hear what certain people have to say about me and Chaz, but I really dont care. My life is MY life and only I know what really goes on with it. So now I just ignore the rumors, laugh about them, and shrug them off! I have found out that I am a lot happier that way! lol Oh! Well me and one of my good friend Leeza went to Adrian College this weekend so I could meet this guy Nick and she could see her man TJ..and Nick is SO cute and I am way excited about "us". I mean I know he's in college and he's kind of far away, but we hit it off really great and he even kissed me! lol He's super sweet and genuine. And I guess I am just way excited because he is a really great guy and i've been waiting for one of those for a while. And it's nice that no one here knows him so no one can make up rumors or things about me or him and ruin this for us! I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!! :) NE ways..lol Life right now is finally falling into place and that makes me feel really great about things. Volleyball is coming up and I cant wait to get on the court! I cant wait to do good in school and graduate with good grades and hopefully get accepted to CMU..and right now things are looking up for me and I can not wait to get the good days started!!! LOL LOVE ALL!!!

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 4 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/1642.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> Someday things might get better...? [03 Dec 2004|12:36pm] [ mood | crushed ] Right now i'm trying to deal with the fact that not everything comes back to you. When you give something up, you may regret it eventually. I miss some things I had in the past and I wish so badly I could get those back, but as of right now things arent looking good at all. I have really learned the lesson of "thinking" before you speak or respond to a question, because that answer may affect you later on down the road. I'm sick to my stomach from my decision and I wish all this pain would just go away..but I cant seem to find any solution. Looking back on what I did decide at the time it makes me think that maybe things now would be better...maybe I wouldnt be doing some of the things I know are wrong that i'm doing if I decided something different. If I did say "yes"..would I have had the greastest summer that I did? Would I have met the people that I did, and experienced the things that I did? ... But If I did say "yes" would I be happy now..instead of reviewing the regret over and over in my head. I would have something right now that makes me so incredibly happy I wouldn't have needed this summer. What would my summer have been like? Over and over again these questions go through my head, along with the memories of what that "happy" feeling was like, and the last time I felt that. The face that made me so happy keeps flashing through my thoughts, my dreams...this is all making me incredibly sick. I wish I could forget it..like I did this summer. "Just have fun" was my motto this summer and now the thought of having fun is so far from reality. I've done everything I can to fix my past decision and fix the wrong I feel I did..but nothing seems to work. Most importantly from all of this I learned that the answer "no" has a stronger impact then I ever would have imagined. I never thought things would end up this way.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/1409.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> Hard times... [19 Oct 2004|01:15pm] [ mood | exhausted ] Wow..I have been through some stuff lately. Well my parents found out how many absences I have...WAY TO MANY!! They grounded me for like 1 night..that wasnt so bad..but the worst part of it all was losing my car and letting my parents down. My parents were really hurt and were really "disappointed" in me. I would SO rather have them say that they were really pissed at me then disappointed! That sucked! But I finally got my car back (THANK GOD) and I have to work really hard to get my grades up and I cant miss NE more school! So the days..like 2day..that I feel like sh*t I can't go home :( Well this past weekend me and my Radida girls hung out everynight and hung out with the MUX boys too! It was SO much fun! Well friday we went to the football game @ Grand Haven..which was VERY cold and rainy and kinnda sucked..but then we all met up and went to a party at my friend Armon's house. That was pretty cool..except that Kris showed up and I REALLY didnt want to see him. But Steven was there so it was all good! lol :) Then on Sat. we all traveled to the Club in GR!! Well on the way there it was raining really hard so I let Kim drive and she started to drift into the other lane..the exit that wasnt ours..and we were all screaming at her that it was our exit so she slamed on the breaks and Suarez ran right into the back of my car! OMG i was pissed...but nother happened to my car so its all ok! lol Then we got to the Club and I danced with Steven a lot and then we slowed danced together..lol it was fun..man I like that kid ALOT!! and yeah b4 we got into the Club Kim also locked my keys in my car..so we got a wire coat hanger from the club and had some random guy stading on the street break into it for us. It took him like 30mins But THANK GOD for him..I owe whoever that was BIG time! So then after that we all went back and partied at Jeanie's ex-boy's house..Chris Cornell. It was fun and it was nice to hang out with the MUX crew again. Needless to say my weekend was fun and now it is really time to buckle down and do my work in class, any homework, and NOT skip school. Only 2 Weeks till the new marking period!!!

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 4 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/1146.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> Long time no talk... [21 Sep 2004|12:52pm] Wow..its been so long since I wrote in here. There has been a lot of things going on. This past summer was AWESOME! It was a HUGE learning experience in SO many ways, and I did thing I never thought I would do. That includes dating some people I would never date again. I love the people I hung out with this summer. I made some awesome friends..the mux crew! I had some tipsy nights that I'd rather not remember and some nights that i would love to relive! But now everything has changed and everything is different. Everyone left for college, like Annie, David, and Mikey..I miss them all SO bad!! We went to K-zoo for the skate movie premiere, it was TONS of fun..although I missed the movie I made it to the party afterwards and it was tons of fun partying with Thorsen, Tara, Ryan, Toph, and David..and of course others! The summer is over and school is starting so now I have to go back to working hard and not being able to party a whole lot..that sux! haha!

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 5 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/851.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> Well today.. [28 May 2004|02:26pm] [ mood | energetic ] Well..so far today has been kinnda boring! lol I we had a half-day and OF COURSE that rocks! haha! :) ONE MORE FULL DAY! and then SCHOOL IS OUT!!! SUMMER TIME! I am so excited for summer...this is the summer i've waited for, for a LONG time sense I was little, cause now I can drive! lol its gonna be awesome!!!! :) Well in a little bit here i'm gonna go pick up Jeanette and were gonna go to the double header baseball game, and in between games were gonna go pick up some Dinner..so tonight should be fun! I hope this weekend sometime I can party..i'm in the mood to party! lol Well..Me and Nicole are talking now which is awesome. I hate not talking to her cause she's one of my best friends. I really didnt mean to hurt her at all. Well not much more to say right now..nothin going on..lol Man, my life is boring! haha

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 2 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/525.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> Not sure.. [25 May 2004|05:07pm] [ mood | hopeful ] Well wow this is my first time writing in here and BOY do I have a LOT to say! lol here I go... Well first of all lately one a my best friends is not talking to me over a stupid little joke I made. She took it WAY out of porportion! (spelled that wrong lol) I dont wanna get into it, cause I dont talk about stuff like that to everyone cause its just OUR buisness..cough cough..but I said I was sorry and I was HONESTLY sorry. I get it that it hurt, I didnt mean it against her, I care about her as a person, I would never say something purposly to hurt her. But she wants to think differently and tell people differently thats fine. But all in all Nicole, i am sorry Neways!! On a better note..things lately have been really great. My issues with Kris are getting a hell of a lot better! He's my best friend..thats all. We dont need to be more, were 16 and we dont need to be in serious relationships! I'm lovin being single and dating, just flirting. I love it lately. I miss him, what we had, our memories, but who knows maybe someday we'll get them back..if were meant to be 2gether we will be. He's an awesome person, and he cares and thats all I need right now. :) School's ALMOST OVER! THANK GOD!!!! This year was hard for me, my grades show it! Its my fault tho, I let stupid things get more important than school, and now I have to work my ass off to get good grades!!! This sux..but 1 WEEK left, but that means FINALS!! YUCK!

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<td [...] widt(>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <tr> <td align="right" colspan="2" widt(="100%" bgcolor="#FF9900" class="comments"> 3 fired away| <a href="http://titten.livejournal.com/360.html?mode=reply">hit me with your best shot</a> </td> </tr> [25 May 2004|11:43am] This is my first update.. do more later

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